Yoongi: 25 June Year 20

I opened the door and entered the room, taking out the envelope tucked away in the bottom drawer of my desk. After opening it, I brushed the dust off of the piano key and tapped on it before slumping over. I flung the burnt center key into the trashcan and then laid down on the bed. My boiling heart still hadn't cooled, my breathing was a mess, and at some point I got soot on my fingers. 

 

I recalled the time I returned from the funeral, my house a wreck from the fire. I entered my mother's room and the piano, burnt beyond recognition, met my eyes. I sunk down next to it. I just sat there as the afternoon sun filled the room and then slowly waned. At the last of the light, I rolled a few of the keys around. Which key would it be if I pressed it? I thought about how much my mother would have touched them. After choosing one key and putting it in my pocket, I left the room. 

 

It had been about 4 years since then. The inside of the house was quiet. So quiet, it felt like I was going crazy. My father went to sleep at 10 p.m., and after that everything in the house held its breath. That was the rule of this house. Enduring this kind of silence was difficult for me. Upholding all the rules and formalities at the proper times wasn't easy. In spite of the fact that I couldn't bear this any longer than I could uphold it, I still continued to live here. I received money from my father, ate with him, and was scolded by him. I'd rather oppose him, go astray, and cause trouble than throw him away and become alone. I didn't have the courage to practice true freedom. 

 

I rose from the bed. I took the piano key from out of the trash can underneath the desk. As I opened the window, the night air furiously flooded the room. The wind descended as if it was attacking me, loaded with everything that had happened today. I threw the piano key into the air with all of my strength. It had been ten days since I stopped going to school. I heard the news that I was going to be expelled. I didn't know if I was going to be chased out of this house, although I didn't want to leave now. I listened carefully, but I didn't hear the sound of the piano key hitting the ground. No matter how hard I think about it, I'll never know what sound that key would have made. No matter how much time passes, that key will never make a sound again. I will never play the piano again.

 

@shootinghearts_