Hoseok: 2 March Year 22

I like being around people. When I got out of the orphanage and became independent, I got a part-time job at a fast food restaurant. It was work that required me to treat people well, always smile, and be full of energy. I liked that kind of work. To be honest, there was not a lot in my life that made me smile or become full of energy. It was clear that I had seen more bad people than good people. I don’t know if work was better or not because of that. I had to smile really big, talk in a loud voice, and act happy even if I didn’t want to, and I think I mistook that as actually being happy. Smiling big made me feel good, and treating people nicely made me feel like a nice person. There were hard days, too. Going home after I finished cleaning up for the day was so hard that I could barely take one step. There were also the days when there were only rude customers. Even so, it was easier to endure these things when my friends were there. But they weren’t now.

 

Sometimes, I think of my friends when the establishment is full of customers. Like Seokjin who transferred schools without saying a word, Namjoon who disappeared one morning, Yoongi who didn’t contact us after he got expelled, Taehyung who was probably off causing trouble somewhere, and Jimin who I haven’t seen since that time in the emergency room. I saw Jungkook wearing a school uniform walk by through the window sometimes, but he never came in. I wondered if those days were really gone. 

 

I heard the sound of a customer entering, so I shouted welcome in a loud voice. I put on a big and healthy smile and turned towards the door.

 

@shootinghearts_