Jimin: 28 July Year 22

I remained alone in the practice room again today. It was past 12 o’clock and public transport had ended for the day. Actually, I was waiting for it to end. That’s because I can use the practice room totally alone. I only saw my inadequacies when we all practiced together. That made me nervous. I was scared, too. Even so, I wanted to make it somehow. So, I stayed here every night alone. 

Every day passed like this, and amazingly I wasn’t scared anymore. The only thing that remained was the fact that dancing was fun. For a long time, I believed that the small, weak, and lethargic me that I created in my head was the real me. But while I was dancing, I began to think only about the weight of my body or the length of my arm. I thought about speed, strength, and other things that I could control. The dancing me wasn’t small and wasn’t weak. My dancing ability honestly grew as much as I practiced. In the beginning, I repeated choppy movements countless times until eventually they became connected. I was growing. Only as much as the nails on my fingers, but even still I was growing. I also found out I was quite a talkative person. It felt like the words I didn’t say, couldn’t say, were finally pouring out of me when I was dancing. By starting to dance, I began to get better for the first time.

 

@shootinghearts_