I kept my eyes on the reflection of myself dancing in the mirror. My feet didn’t touch the ground but instead reached upwards. I was free from the whole world’s attention and standards. Other than adjusting my body to the music and exercising my mind, everything else was of little importance.
I was about 12 years old the first time I danced. I believe it was at the retreat talent show. Led by my school friends, I stood on the stage. The applause and cheer of that day even now remains in my memory, and for the first time I felt like I was myself. Of course, I just thought it was somewhat enjoyable just moving my body to music at that time. It was happiness, and it was a while before I realized that the happiness came from within, not the applause.
Outside the mirror, I’m tied to many things. I can’t stand it when my feet are away from this floor, even if only for a few seconds. I smile even if I don’t want to. I smile even if I’m sad. I take medicine that I don’t even need, and yet I could collapse anywhere. So when I dance, I keep my eyes on my reflection. The moment when I truly become myself. The moment when all of the weight burdening me flies away. The moment I believe I can be happy. I want to protect that moment.
@shootinghearts_
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