Taehyung: 22 May Year 22

“Is that all? Is there anything else you’re hiding from us?” Immediately, our surroundings became still. Everyone’s attention turned to me. I stared straight at Seokjin. He also looked at me. There were hints of exhaustion and embarrassment and even some regret in his eyes. When I tried to press him again, someone grabbed my arm and stopped me. I didn’t turn and look, but I knew who it was. It was Namjoon. 

 

“What do you have to do with this? You’re not even my real brother,” I said. I felt Namjoon looking at me. I didn’t turn my head and instead shook off his arm. I knew it too. I was feeling unreasonable anger towards Namjoon now. I repeated what he had said on the phone earlier and told him that I was angry and hurt. His words were not wrong. I was barely a year younger than him. I wasn’t his real brother. He was right that I should take care of my own problems. Even still, I was hurt. He didn’t refute anything, so I became angrier. I wanted him to know my feelings. 

 

“Taehyung. I’m sorry. Let’s stop talking about this here.” It was Seokjin who opened his mouth. It was Seokjin who was calling me by my name and apologizing. Namjoon didn’t say anything. “Stop what? Since we are talking, might as well say everything. Seokjin, you’re hiding things from us.” 

 

“Let’s go outside and talk,” Namjoon said while grabbing my arm again. I shook him off like before, but he held on tightly and tried to pull me outside. I held my ground while saying, “Let go. What right do you have to stop me? What do you know? You don’t know anything, and you... I was wrong to think you were an amazing person.” It was then. He let go of my arm. I kind of stumbled forward from that reaction. No, it wasn’t because of that reaction that I stumbled. The moment he let go of my arm was like the middle of a chain breaking. It seemed like everything that sustained me cracked and collapsed apart. I don’t know if I wanted him to not let go of my arm until the end. Or if I wanted him to get angry and pull me outside. I don’t know if I wanted him to scold me like a real brother, like a close and important person that you can’t just walk away from. 

 

But he let go of my arm. I just laughed. “What’s so amazing about us being together? What are we to each other anyway? We’re all gonna be alone in the end.” That’s when Seokjin hit me. 

 

@shootinghearts_