Jungkook: 26 July Year 22

The hospital faded away as I started to think back. I could no longer see the bench that I brought the wildflowers to or the window where I used to stare out at the river with her. Reflecting on it, her life in the hospital gave me a space to breathe despite how frustrating it was for her. In the late afternoon, we would sit on the bench talking and the sun set before we knew it. I would tell her about what happened in our hideout and our trip to the sea. I would even tell her about walking to the train station. She told me everything there was to know about the hospital. Things like which windows you could see the river from and which staircase you could take to secretly get roof access. There wasn’t a thing about the hospital she didn’t know. 

 

Her hospital room was empty. I asked some nurses if she was released or if she moved hospitals, but I couldn’t find anything out. A part of my heart felt empty for some reason. I turned around and started to walk. I saw our school. When I think about it, most of the stories I told her included my friends, and most of my sentences started with my friends. I was alone, but they became my friends as well as my family and my teachers. My story existed inside theirs, and I only existed within my relationship with all of them. 

 

But for some time now, I’ve had this thought. I don’t know if there’ll be a day when my friends are no longer by my side. That one day I’ll look for them, and they’ll be gone and no one can tell me the reason why. No, worse than that, I’m not sure if anything will ever happen again. 

 

I recalled the night of that day. The day when the moon was large in the sky. I recalled the world that was flipped upside down. I recalled the light of the headlights coming from behind, the figure of a car passing by me and disappearing, and the red taillights. And the engine sound that was somewhat familiar. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. But even still, that moment keeps lingering in my mind. 

 

@shootinghearts_