Yoongi: 15 March Year 19

The food today was unusually delicious. It was just regular cafeteria food, but it was strange. I didn’t show any emotion. That didn’t really suit me. I was still in a state of slumping in my chair and dangling my spoon as if just holding it was annoying. However, the food was definitely delicious today. Saying that sunlight was pouring into the room, Taehyung and Jungkook closed the curtains and switched spots. They caused such a scene that dust went flying everywhere. Namjoon yelled at them and told them to be quiet even if it was just when they were eating food. I thought while holding my spoon. How long had it been since I’d been this relaxed while eating a meal? 

 

There was never any conversation at my family’s dinner table for as long as I can remember. You didn’t hear things like the food was delicious or please give me more. Eating to my family was just a part of daily life, nothing more and nothing less. I don’t remember when I heard my father say the words “Min Yoongi. Don’t talk at the dinner table.” The only thing I can think of is the clattering of utensils on the table. He didn’t ever raise his voice or get mad. No, it felt like he didn’t even look at me. Even so, I kept my mouth shut. I gave up on saying anything and instead crammed a big spoonful of food into my mouth. But I ended up biting the inside of my mouth instead. My mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood. It hurt, and it felt like I was going to cry. However, I didn’t say that it hurt. I’m not allowed to speak at the dinner table. I reluctantly chewed through the blood-covered food. 

 

Someone snatched my food tray. I scowled without realizing it, but it wasn’t that I didn’t like it or was irritated by it. It was more like a general reaction to the situation. Hoseok went on about how I was mad and what was Taehyung going to do, and Taehyung exaggerated how sorry he was. It sounded exactly like something they would say. “You eat it,” I said without realizing. And then they continued talking and laughing boisterously. No one noticed. No one noticed that I talked during my meal today.

 

@shootinghearts_

 

 

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