Jimin: 4 July Year 22

When I came to my senses, I was washing my arm to the point that my skin was coming off. My hands were shaking, and my breath was unsteady. Blood flowed from my arm. My eyes in the mirror were bloodshot. The events of what happened earlier came back to me piece by piece. 

 

I was momentarily distracted. I was doing the other half of the dance with the older girl from the dance club, but the moves got tangled and I crashed. I fell on the rough floor, and my arm bled. At that moment, I remembered what happened at the Grass and Flower Arboretum. I thought I had overcome what happened. But I hadn’t. I had to run away. I had to wash it off. I had to turn away. In the mirror, I was still an eight-year-old boy who was running away in the rain. Then suddenly, I remembered. She fell down with me.

 

There was no one in the practice room. It was raining hard on the other side of the slightly open door. I saw Hoseok running away in the distance. The rain was hitting him. I picked up the umbrella and jumped out of the door. I ran. And finally, I stopped and stood there. 

 

There was nothing I could do. That’s all someone like me can do. Fall and hurt you. Just leave you there, just throw you aside as I worry about my own self. And give up after I had a late start running. I turned around and started walking. Rain water splashed onto my sneakers every time I took a step. Car headlights flickered by. It wasn’t fine. No, it was fine. It didn’t hurt. Something like this wasn’t a wound. I was fine, really.

 

@shootinghearts_