Jimin: 10 December Year 18

“We’re almost there,” Mom said. I used the end of my sleeve to wipe the fog off the car window. I saw a sign that said Songju Jeil Middle School outside the window. My mom said that there were no other schools in Munhyeon that I could go to and that I had no idea how lucky I was that Songju Jeil Middle School accepted me. Going in and out of the hospital, I had changed schools many times. How long would I last at this school? While I was thinking that, we passed the school gate and the playground came into view. No one was there, possibly because of the cold. Mom parked between the pull-up bar and swings. 

 

I looked at the pull-up bar as I got out of the car. There’s one memory from my childhood that is significantly more vivid than the others. The blue sky and white clouds looked like they were straight out of a picture book. I have a memory of that sky flying toward me at a terrifying speed. Before what happened at the arboretum, I had an unusual affinity toward playgrounds. My favorite was the swings. If I kicked off powerfully enough, I got dizzyingly close to the sky. Even though it was scary, I liked that dizzy feeling. 

 

One day, I was curious about what it would feel like if I swung all the way around in a complete circle. None of the other kids in the neighborhood had been able to accomplish it. I told my friends to push my back as hard as they could. I gave all the strength I had and flew higher and higher. The blue sky and white clouds came flying toward me. At the moment I flew the highest, the world started spinning and I ended up falling off of the swing. I was laying in the sand when I opened my eyes. I had a mouth full of sand and my knee was bleeding, but it didn’t hurt for some reason. I just felt angry that I couldn’t make a full loop on the swing. 

 

I thought about the memory of me on the swing. It was like I stole it from someone else. I wonder if the Park Jimin of that time is still like that, still the same person, still growing in some unknown place. I was thinking about that while looking at the swings when Mom called me. I looked toward the front entrance of the school. Songju Jeil Middle School. It was my fifth school.

 

@shootinghearts_

 

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