I drew a line with the black spray can. Thin face. Mouth shaped as if it’s at a loss for words. Dry hair. With a crude line, the face I had seen in my dreams started to take shape on the gray wall. Now it was time to draw the pupils. I started to reach my arm out but instead took a step back.
The face I saw in my head was vivid. The pupils were so clear that it made my skin crawl. But I didn’t know how to express what I saw. They were pupils that had lost all happiness and sadness. Only indifference and coldness remained. They were like many different colors crushed into one. His eyes didn’t say anything but that only told me more. I kept switching spray cans, but in the end I couldn’t draw the pupils.
It had been two years since I last saw Seokjin. I heard that he had gone to America, but I didn’t know anything other than that. It was the first time that he had been in my dreams. There had been times when I thought about how he was doing. I even thought about what happened in our classroom and the moment that I heard Seokjin on the phone with the principal. I had good memories about him and also things I didn’t understand. But in all of this, nothing was like the cold, barren face that I saw in my dream.
I looked up at the face I drew on the wall again. It was definitely Seokjin. But it wasn’t the Seokjin that I knew. Why did I suddenly have a dream like that? The dream was continuously that ominous and disturbing scene. He was looking at all of that misfortune with an expressionless face. I felt the chilliness from my dream crawl up the back of my neck. A police siren blared in the distance.
@shootinghearts_
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